Balancing Parenthood & Consulting: A Continued Journey Navigating the Realities 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦
This article refers to my critical reflection on the question “Deciding between having a family or a consulting career? Why should you not have both?” from 2020 and gives insights into my learnings from the past years.
As I reflect on my journey over the past few years, it's remarkable to see how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. Transitioning from Manager to Principal at BCG Platinion, I now have over 12 years of experience in IT consulting. Still residing in BĂĽckeburg, a quiet town near Hannover, I continue to embrace the challenges and joys of balancing a thriving consulting career with the responsibilities of parenthood.
Expanding our Family by one
At the beginning of 2022, my husband and I welcomed our second child, another boy, into our lives. The arrival of our newest family member brought with it a period of adjustment and increased complexity. Recognizing the demands of parenting two young children, my husband and I both opted for nine months of parental leave to ensure we could provide the necessary care during this crucial time.
Navigating Re-Entry: A Delicate Balance
Returning to work after parental leave presented its own set of challenges. Initially re-entering the workforce at 60% capacity, with one day off and two half days, I found myself grappling with the ambiguous boundaries of part-time consulting (again). The question of defining what a "half day" meant in the fast-paced world of consulting is a big one. The journey of determining when to "clock out" became a constant struggle, highlighting the inherent challenges of balancing consulting responsibilities with the needs of a growing family.
Finding the right balance was a deeply personal experience, emphasizing the importance of tailoring re-entry models to individual needs and circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all model.
In February 2023, I made the decision to increase my workload to 80%, with one day off per week, believing that this adjustment would better align with my professional aspirations and personal obligations. This belief proved true, and it went smoother for all parties involved. However, navigating the demands of consulting at this capacity while ensuring flexibility for family commitments remained an ongoing challenge. My husband, also working in consulting, maintained a 60% workload with two days off on client cases, further highlighting the importance of flexibility and support in our dynamic roles.
Evolving our Support Network
Over the years, our support network has evolved to accommodate the demands of our growing family and professional responsibilities. Recognizing the need for multiple layers, we transitioned to a model where a nanny is present four days a week, working 8-hour shifts each day, caretaking after kindergarten and ensuring coverage for unexpected situations such as illness or changes in kindergarten schedules. To be frank, it happens quite often.
The reality of having support in childcare and household responsibilities underscores the undeniable challenges faced by working parents in maintaining a sense of balance and stability.
Embracing Challenges and Achievements
As I continue to navigate the intersection of parenthood and consulting, I am reminded of the importance of personal success factors. While there are undoubtedly moments of pitfalls and uncertainties, the rewards of pursuing both a fulfilling career and a loving family are immeasurable.
My personal critical success factors over the last four years have been:
- Keep in contact with your team during your absence – this can be, for example, by attending virtual lunches or coffee chats, visit colleagues in the office, or join dinners.
- Live a work-life integration – there is no way to keep both separate. Your work-life balance is already different by having children and a demanding career.
- Communicate blocked times strictly and early – colleagues do not know when you´re responsible for children´s bedtime. I have a blocker every evening when I am at home.
- Be flexible – mutual flexibility from you and your team will be required.
- Reduce travel where possible – there must always be one parent in town.
- Accept support and outsource – this might be in childcare, household chores, garden, etc. It’s highly unlikely you’ll be able to manage everything perfectly on your own.
- Accept imperfection and vulnerability – this might be my toughest one. It needs to be crystal clear that achieving 100% in all dimensions of life is simply not possible.
- Share your experiences with others – talk about your challenges as well as your successes and learn from others.
I remain deeply committed to serving as a role model for my colleagues, demonstrating that it is indeed possible to thrive in both personal and professional spheres. The increasing representation of female consultants and working parents at BCG Platinion is a testament to the progress we have made and the continued evolution of our workplace culture.
In closing, I am grateful for the ongoing support of my colleagues, mentors, and loved ones as I navigate this journey, not underestimating all the complexities and contradictions that come with “having both”. While there are moments of triumph and accomplishment, the realities of juggling professional aspirations with familial responsibilities demand a level of honesty and vulnerability that cannot be overlooked. Together, we're demonstrating that parenthood and consulting can go hand in hand if you have dedication, flexibility, and a strong support network.
When I ask myself again after being promoted to Principal and giving birth to my second son, is it possible to have both, a family and a consulting career? My opinion remains the same… yes, it is possible.
